


Missing Something

by RyanTyler2294



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (kind of), Hurt Keith (Voltron), M/M, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Shiro's vlog, Voyeurism, vlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 13:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12631866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanTyler2294/pseuds/RyanTyler2294
Summary: “Let’s go through Shiro’s vlog, see what he talked about.” Hunk grinned“Those are private.” Keith reminded him.“It might be nice, to see him again,” Lance added.“Just a few,” Keith said. “I don’t want to go in too deep.”...Shiro’s face suddenly filled the screen and Keith felt his breath catchShiro goes missing after their last fight with Zarkon and Keith is stuck being the Black Paladin. As he struggles with his new role and his loss of Shiro he finds comfort in watching a few entries of Shiro's vlog. In the process, he and the other Paladins find out a lot of things they never knew about Shiro.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like this one! It's my first real ship fic for this series. Hope you enjoy the premise.  
> And check out some [Fanart for this fic](http://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com/post/167133762041)  
> If you enjoy my work, check out my [Tumblr](https://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com)

Keith was fighting back tears every moment of the day. He just got Shiro back, and he was gone again. And now he was stuck being the Black Paladin. He wasn’t cut out to be a leader. He knows Shiro believed in him and the lion seemed to choose him, but he doubts that he could do this. If Shiro was there to help guide him or give advice this would be easier.

The others tried to talk to him after one of their meetings with the Blades and some random planetary leaders. It felt insincere. They approached him like they were trying to tame a wild animal rather than a friend. What kind of bond were they even supposed to have to form Voltron anyway? Everyone called him the loner and he hardly socialized with the others. Not that they showed interest in doing so with him either. And now without Shiro, or having a connection with Red, he was lonely.

Everyone was walking on eggshells when he was around. No one knew how to deal with him when he was like this. He wasn’t angry, he was sad, and he wasn’t sure how to express it so everyone stopped thinking he was going to snap.

He’d made some reckless mistakes on the first few missions. The kind of mistakes that Shiro would shake his head at and tell him that he needed to focus and push his hurt feelings aside just for a moment, just for the mission.

Patience yields focus.

“You’ve been moping forever man,” Lance was the only one who dared to poke the beast.

“We’re gonna find him,” Pidge chipped in. She gave him a sad smile. She was also looking for her family, so he guessed if anyone understood what he was feeling it was her.

“I know,” Keith sighed poking at his food goo. He missed him. Shiro had been gone for so long before this, after being such a presence in his life. It had taken Keith a while to trust him, but , they had become brothers. He hadn’t had a family love like that in so long. It hurt to have him gone. It hurt to not know what happened to him again. Was he dead? Was he alive? Did he get captured again?

Last time they took his arm and Shiro never told him everything that had happened to him. He changed the subject if it came up, and he only told them what was necessary for the fight against Zarkon. They all knew he had nightmares, that he couldn’t sleep at night, that sometimes he would start to slip into a flashback in front of them and had to fight to stay aware of himself. He had hung on for so long, Keith was afraid that he would break.

“You know what could be fun?” Hunk grinned. “Let’s go through Shiro’s vlog, see what he talked about.”

“Those are private.” Keith reminded him. A while ago Lance and Coran came up with the idea to keep videos diaries. It would give them a place to vent and they could all keep their own file. Pidge was down with it since her journal had run out of paper a while ago. And Hunk thought it was a cool idea since it would be kind of like the commentary from reality T.V. Even Shiro agreed that it could be a good coping mechanism if everyone agreed to confidentiality. They all swore to it. He couldn’t breach Shiro’s privacy like that, not while he was gone. What if he came back and he found out that…

“It might be nice, to see him again,” Lance added.

Keith blinked back tears from the mere idea before he nodded.

“Just a few,” Keith said. “I don’t want to go in too deep.”

~.~.~.~.~

Pidge found the save files. There was a surprisingly large amount in Shiro’s folders. Each one was numbered and dated. A few of them had titles.

“Let’s start with the first one,” Hunk decided. Keith was still unsure about the morals to this. Pidge clicked on the first one and the media player opened and the video started to load.

Shiro’s face suddenly filled the screen as he made sure the camera was set up the right way. His bed was in the background. Shiro must have recorded in his room for privacy.

“Alright,” Shiro said to the camera and Keith felt his breath catch. He sounded different than he remembered. Was he forgetting him that quickly?

“My name is Takashi Shirogane,” Shiro kept going. “I’m the missing pilots from the Kerberos mission. I was abducted by the Galra Empire and was made to be a Slave Gladiator before escaped and crashed back to Earth.” He looked straight into the camera speaking plainly. “Long story short I’m the Black Paladin and Leader of Voltron.”

He glanced away to collect his thoughts.

“The video thing was Lance’s idea, and I figured it couldn’t hurt. It might help to take their minds off of things for a while. I think even Coran is doing it. So far it’s working out: they keep going on about how they need to update their “vblogs” or whatever,” He chuckled. “They’re an energetic bunch I’ll give them that much. “

Shiro shrugged. “I don’t really have much to say but I know if I don’t make at least one of these then I would never hear the end of it.” With that, he reached forwards and then the screen went black.

Keith blinked not sure how to feel. It was nice to see Shiro alive and well, though it wasn’t a reflection of his current state. But it was nice.

“One more,” Keith decided. The others nodded. Maybe he wasn’t the only one being comforted by this.

Pidge scrolled a little further down the list and picked one at random.

Just like that Shiro was on the screen again. He was smiling this time. He was wearing a tank top and was a little sweaty. It must have been after a training session. It was only odd because Keith had only ever seen Shiro’s one outfit and his armor. It was a little surreal.

Now he could see the scarring on Shiro’s arm and the angry red patch of skin right where the arm connected to the metal prosthetic.

“All and all it’s been a good day. Everyone is improving in training. I think they’ve actually been practicing on their own more often. I know Keith does. I catch him in the training room in his free time. He’s made the most progress against the training gladiator. Which,” He looked around like someone may be listening. “Is the craziest teaching device I’ve ever seen! First time out we lost against level one and apparently, an Altean child should be able to defeat one? And even the guide for teaching the language attacks you until you get it right. And I don’t doubt that Zarkon is evil, but I wonder how peaceful the Alteans really were in all this. I’m not gonna say anything just yet. I just watch and listen and see how things go.”

He was frowning a little and looked like he was going to say more before he turned the camera off.

“Okay, we can’t let Allura see this one,” Hunk said. They all nodded.

Keith was tempted to watch another one, but he didn’t want to go too far, he didn’t want to breach Shiro’s privacy. He held off for a few days before he asked Pidge to pull up the file again. It had been a shitty day of dealing with Lotor and his goons.

Allura and Coran joined the young paladins as they watched. It made Keith a bit uneasy. They were making a spectacle out of Shiro in his absence. But there was always a collective sigh when Shiro came on screen and everyone relaxed when he started talking.

These videos were a comfort to everyone.

Most of his videos sounded like a debriefing. He would go over the particulars of a mission with a pinch of humor and his opinions on the situation. In between missions most of his entries were just rambling about training or meeting new creatures.

He was optimistic, full of life. It was almost like he was right there in the room.

“It turning into a movie night where Shiro is the star,” Lance joked. It was easier to deal with him nowadays. Keith was starting to lean into the role of leader a bit better, and everyone was starting to notice. Lance liked to boast about being the second in command and seemed to be trying talk to Keith more. It allowed him to become a little closer to the group instead of being dubbed the loner.

But what he said was true. Once a week or so they would watch a video or two. They had seen Shiro try on Altean clothing, attempt to play some instrument he found on the ship (Allura and Coran laughed at that one because he was holding it all wrong) and sometimes he would attempt to tell jokes like he was a stand up comic.

This time it was taking longer for the screen to load. Or they thought. There was a rustling noise in the background and heavy breathing.

“Maybe we should…” Pidge started to say but then the lights started to turn up a little and Shiro came into focus.

It was unnerving. His eyes were wide and wild, he was covered in sweat and his bangs stuck to his forehead. He was speaking quickly in Japanese and it took the translator a tick to catch up.

“…and every night it’s the same thing. I can’t sleep, I can’t live like this! And it’s not like I can talk to anyone about it, about the nightmares…” He took a deep breath to collect himself. “I’m not sure why I’m recording right now.” His voice broke.

The screen went dark again.

No one spoke for a tick. No one knew what to say. He knew that Shiro had still been dealing with the aftermath of the abduction, but he never saw the actual toll it was taking on him.

“That was scary,” Pidge admitted.

“Maybe we should…” Hunk started to say.

“One more,” Keith insisted trying to keep his voice even. He couldn’t end it like this. He couldn’t stop with the last video being Shiro a step away from a panic attack, falling apart right before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to help. It was too similar to what was happening now.

No one argued him and the next one started.

Shiro came on screen rubbing his eyes. He must have just woke up.

“Last night was rough,” He yawned. “Worse than it’s been in a while. If it was just a nightmare it would be one thing, but it feels so real, and it feels like it’s more of a memory than a nightmare. Like I’m reliving everything, the vivisection, the fighting, the guards…” his voice trailed off and his metal hand came up to cover his mouth as he if to trap his sobs inside. His eyes shined with unshed tears.

“And the others can tell I’m off today. We just had breakfast and everyone has been questioning me, saying I don’t look so good. But I can’t…” his voice broke again and he looked away from the screen. “I can’t explain to them how bad it really got. The pain, and the shame…” He cleared his throat, but his eyes let the pain show through. It was almost too much to see him like this, open and vulnerable, clearly hurt. Keith had to look away for a second.

“But sometimes I have this other dream. It’s not really a dream it’s more like a feeling. It’s kind of like this purple aura that covers everything and when it’s there I feel warm…I feel safe.” A smile quirked on his lips and he wiped his eyes. “I’m not sure if it’s real, but it’s my favorite dream. But I only get it when I’m about to wake up, so it might just be because my mind is remembering that I’m in the castle.” He mused and shrugged before adding. “But I like it.”

He was quiet for a second and looking off into space before he realized he left the camera running and reached over to turn it off.

~.~.~.~.~

They left the videos alone for a while. They had planets to liberate and diplomats to meet. As Black Paladin, he was expected to be at those meetings in some capacity.

He was getting better at giving speeches when he had to. Allura assured him that it meant something for him to give a few words of hope in times like these. It seemed to be working. They were slowly gathering a large force behind them to take on the Galra.

It was tiring work. He slumped into the seats in the common area and put his feet up. He looked out the window to watch as the suns of the plant they were currently on set. It bathed the room in green and blue. It was cool to watch, but it made him yearn for home.

“Good job today,” Allura stood in front of him. He only shrugged continuing to look out the window. He wanted to go back into his own head and get lost in his thoughts.

“You should get some rest,” Allura advised.

“I’ll go to bed in a bit,” He rolled his neck. “I was going to look at another video today.” At this point, everyone knew what he meant when he said this. They all looked forward to those few moments when it felt like Shiro was back with them.

“Should I tell the others?” Allura asked. Keith shrugged again. It didn’t matter either way.

They all ended up gather together as a new video played. Shiro was on screen, he looked tired but not in the same haunting way he did after those nightmares.

“I feel kind of bad because Katie was telling me how scared she was that we weren’t going to make it home and that we wouldn’t find her family.”

The group gave a collective side glance to Pidge who tensed a little. She had a private conversation with Shiro, and technically he wasn’t breaking her confidence by talking about it here. He assumed nobody would ever watch these.

“I gave her this speech about bravery and hope and hanging in there. But it’s kind of hard to do when I’m scared all the time. Since the abduction, I wake up scared, I go to bed scared, and I fight scared.” He admitted looking away bashfully before his gaze returned to the camera. “But, I work through it, I’ve been learning to cope with it and turn my fears into a reasonable action. And it’s saved my life a few times…Maybe I should have told her that instead.” He sighed and turned the feed off.

“Turns out fearless leader wasn’t so fearless” Lance said. Keith couldn’t tell what tone he was trying to use but it angered him all the same.

“Everyone gets scared sometimes,” Coran rebutted before the conversation could go any further. “And after all that happened, well, it makes sense that Number 1 may have a few lingering anxieties.”

“I just wished he told us,” Keith slumped. “I wouldn’t have thought any less of him. But maybe we could have been there for him the way he was for us. We owe him that much. I owe him that much.”

“He probably has his reasons for not letting that side of him show,” Hunk didn’t sound too sure of his own words.

Keith didn’t respond. Stupid Shiro, Keith would have been more than willing to help him shoulder this burden. Even if he didn’t have advice to give he would have listened.

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Pidge said as she closed out of Shiro’s video files.

“Agreed,” Allura stepped in before anyone could object. “It’s been a long day and you could all use the rest.”

Keith couldn’t sleep. He lay in bed most of the night with his mind racing. He was too wired to go to sleep. He was jumpy and full of energy. He couldn’t get comfortable.

They hadn’t found Shiro yet, and he was still out there somewhere, scared.

~.~.~.~.~

“Not gonna lie, I have an ulterior motive,” Shiro admitted in one of his videos. “I know Allura and the others think it could be a trap, but it’s the first real memory I’ve had in a while.”

“He must be talking about when we met the Blades,” Hunk surmised.

“And it could lead to some powerful allies. If they had someone that deep undercover, they could have useful information. And… I’m really…anxious to meet the Galra who freed me. If I’m lucky I can get some answers.”

“I have this gap in my mind with like, a few blurred instances of memory. It’s driving me nuts, to not know what happened to me during that time. I want to know where all these scars came from, why they took my arm. Why is this part of my hair white? How did I survive in the arena for a year?”

“And I know it’s selfish, but I wouldn’t take this kind of a risk if I didn’t think it was safe. And when I think back to that moment I was being rescued I get that feeling I mentioned before. Warm, and safe,” his voice sounded different. “But it’s deeper than that. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s so familiar I think whoever it was I knew and trusted.”

“Alright,” His hands rest on his thighs as if he was about to get up. “We should be getting there soon. I’ll let you know how it goes.” He gave a hopeful smile to the screen before he turned off the camera.

The next video started shortly after.

Shiro was happy, smiling, eyes bright.

“Ulaz, his name is Ulaz,” Shiro beamed. “I remember him, vaguely, but it’s better than nothing!”

“I don’t know, it’s like part of me has woken up, and I’m remembering stuff from, from all of it. It’s just bits and pieces right now, but it’s still something. And Ulaz says he’ll answer any questions I have.”

“Right now he’s kind of on lockdown though. He broke into the ship when we got close to his base and Allura didn’t trust that, and he’s Galra so we gave him a room on the ship but it’s being monitored. I don’t think he’s going to do anything through. He offered to let us into his base.”

“We’re gonna contact his superiors and take it from there.”

The video faded out.

Allura looked a little miffed but didn’t say anything.

“Told ya he was just a bit too quick to want to go there,” Lance said excitedly.

“Not as bad as it could be,” Hunk shrugged. Which was true. There had always been worry that Ulaz was just an implanted memory. They’d since gotten rid of that suspicion after the Blades helped them with their recent attack on Zarkon.

“We all knew,” Pidge rolled her eyes. “He wants answers and he had someone who could give them to him. He took advantage of the situation.”

“I’m not blaming him for anything, I’m just saying I was right is all.” Lance trailed off as the next one started.

“I don’t even know how to explain what I’m feeling right now,” Shiro’s eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying. He took a deep shuddering breath as he tried to speak again but it came out as a sob. He had to wipe his eyes smudging his eyeliner more. “But I’m gonna try to. Sometimes talking things out helps me…understand my own feelings a little better.”

“Ulaz is dead. He sacrificed himself to save us.” He covered his mouth with his hands looking up and away as he collected himself.

“It’s just really fucked up. How are we supposed to be the defenders of the universe if we can’t fight off one damn Robeast!” His face morphs into anger and grief before he reeled himself back in.

“And Zarkon is tracking us somehow and we need to figure out how. It’s just, I feel horrible that he had to die for us, and helpless because there’s nothing we can do. How are we supposed to face the Blades and explain that one of their own died for us?”

There was a minute of no talking. Shiro kept his eyes on some far corner of the room. He was so still Keith thought the tape might have froze if it weren’t for Shiro’s occasional sniffles.

“I miss him. I missed him before I even remembered him. I’m not sure how well we knew each other when I was captured, but we were starting to reconnect. We were becoming friends and… I just can’t face the others knowing I’m going to have to listen to Allura speculate about all the ways he could have been the one who betrayed us. Ulaz was, he was a good guy. I know he didn’t have anything to do with this.”

He took another shuddering breath as he started to break down again. His hands covered his face as he slowly slumped so he was face down on the desk.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” His shoulders shook with each sob. His hand reached out blindly to turn off the feed, missing a few times before the screen went blank.

The next few videos were just him giving standards reports and kept a log of their missions. He talked about meeting the Blades and Keith going through the trials.

“I do think that Keith has what it takes to be the leader. I’ve been talking with Black Lion and she says that it’s only a matter of time before it’s time for Keith to switch over. I know he’s not going to like it, but we’ve been working at easing him into the position. I kind of put him in places where he has to do more decision making. He has a bit of a quick temper, but once he has to look out for others and really applies himself he’s gonna be fine, probably better than me.” He smiled softly.

“He beat out my record in the simulator during his placement test. With the right encouragement, and a little guidance he can do great things. Not that I’m talking down to the others. They’ve made great progress when it comes to piloting and hand to hand combat, and getting used to their weapons. Lance is a pretty good sharpshooter, I just need the others to stop waving to him after he takes a shot. They’re gonna get him killed.”

“And Pidge has a better understanding of the tech she’s dealing with, which is a Godsend because some of the stuff in the beginning was…well deadly, but now the stealth tech is stable and she’s starting to redistribute the power in her lion so she can use it continuously. And I think Hunk finally looked at the guide in the kitchen so I don’t get sick when he cooks anymore. And he handles his weapon so much better now. He has one of the most powerful weapons and used to shoot with his eyes closed.”

He shook his head, “But I can’t blame them. We all have some training in our background, but none of us were expecting to get thrown into a war. Expecting them to just adjust is asking a lot from a bunch of kids.” He frowned. He glanced up looking at the time.

“Gotta go. We have a meeting with the Blades. They’re sending some transmission or something but it’s only going to work for like…five minutes.”

He hit the button to stop the feed.

“Okay, so you weren’t lying when you said Shiro wanted you to pilot Black Lion.” Lance conceded. “It just sounded fishy at the time is all.”

“I said I didn’t want to do it,” Keith said annoyed. “Why would I lie?”

“I’m just saying,” Lance shrugged. “Anyways did you hear him?! He said I was a good sharpshooter.” He took up a shooting stance on one of the couches making fake gunshot sounds.

Everyone had sat up a little straighter when Shiro had mentioned their strengths. Things around here weren’t the same with him missing. It’s been many months, or phobes since he’d been gone. And his absence was a saddening pressure.

“Ulaz is alive,” Shiro cheered grinning from ear to ear. Everyone jumped when he spoke. They had forgotten to turn off the autoplay so the next video wouldn’t play without them picking it.

“I’m not really sure how Kolivan explained it. I kind of missed most of it after he said that Ulaz was at their base. Something about the way he made the dimensional pocket. I just…” He let out a sigh. “I’m so relieved. And when he’s better they asked us to assist him in a mission, so I’ll get to see him soon! I’m super excited.”

Lance snorted a laugh at how energetic Shiro was. Not that Keith could blame him. Shiro had on one of those goofy grins he gets when he’s happy.

Keith didn’t realize that Shiro and Ulaz were that close. He never talked about it with him. Which was weird. He understood not wanting to discuss the year when he went missing, but Shiro always lectured them on talking about their issues instead of letting them fester. If he was mourning Ulaz’s loss, he should have said something. If they were friends then he should have mentioned it.

Right?

Things were only more awkward when Ulaz came aboard the ship. The Blades had been notified of Shiro’s disappearance after their last attack on Zarkon. Kolivan promised to keep eyes and ears out for him, but other than that there wasn’t much he could do.

“I came to assist in the search,” Ulaz informed them. “I can only stay for a short amount of time, but I would like to supply you with technology that may help you since your resources are limited.”

“Our technology may be old but it gets the job done,” Allura informed him. She never took well to anyone insulting her people’s heritage. Her dad had programmed most of the ship, and she took great pride in that.

“My apologies,” Ulaz said. “But what I’ve brought will help us greatly narrow down where he may be in the universe.”

Allura nodded and thanked him. Ulaz was to stay long enough to teach them how to use the tech. Then he had a mission he was to go on as soon as he was finished here.

He took the time to show all of them how the new technology worked, but paid special attention to explain it to Pidge. He had been around enough to know she was the tech wiz.

He ended up staying the night (Allura insisted). But he didn’t sleep much. Keith was able to find him on the observation deck soon after everyone else had gone to bed. Keith didn’t know him well enough to read him easily, but it looked like he was taking the loss just as hard.

“You’re still awake?” Keith approached him.

“Galra sleep cycles are a bit different from humans and Alteans.” Ulaz regarded him coolly. He must have heard him enter the room. “Why are you up?”

“Restless,” Keith shrugged. “Thanks for coming down to help out. It means a lot to us.”

“It’s the least I can do. Shiro is a friend of the Blades. We all wish to find him.”

“But you guys were close friends right?” Keith asked. Ulaz didn’t flinch or act surprised by the question.

“Yes,” Ulaz replied. “We’ve grown close since his liberation.”

“Were you guys friends before that?” Keith asked.

“We were, closer than most prisoners and their captors. I think he was glad to meet someone with a kind touch.” Ulaz didn’t try to explain what he meant by that.

“What was he like during that time?” Keith asked.

“Spirited,” Was Ulaz’s immediate response. “Kind. He used to cheek his pills so he could bring medicine to the other prisoners. All the other medics were scared of him because he was a biter.” He extended his gloveless hand to Keith. The tips of his paws were white like his face. Amongst the marks was a darker broken purple line, like a jaw impression.

“He bit you?” Keith looked at the mark in surprise.

“It was before we knew each other well. He assumed I was like the others. I don’t blame him for it.”

“Did he ever apologize?”

“Constantly,” Ulaz chuckled. “But it was to be expected by anyone in his position. Most I interacted with were docile because they felt hopelessness from being captured, but Shiro was biding his time trying to learn all he could so he could escape.”

“Did he ever… did he ever give up?”

Ulaz was quite, carefully collecting his thoughts before he spoke.

“He had his bad days. At his worst, he did give up, but only for a little while. He never allowed himself to stay down. He would fight through the next day. If he seemed too off to go to the arena, I would exaggerate his injuries to keep him in the medical lab for the day. By the end of the day, it was just us, and he was able to talk openly. He always did better when he could talk to someone.”

“Was he really undefeated in the arena?” Keith asked. He knows that Shiro can fight, but he couldn’t imagine what he must have had to do to survive.

“Yes. Not all of his victories were because of death: some he managed to incapacitate. He wasn’t the strongest in the arena, but he was the smartest and it allowed him to take down opponents bigger than himself.”

“You watched him fight?”

“Sometimes,” Ulaz admitted. “I had to keep appearances, so if I was invited by one of the others I worked with I had to go. I'd rather be on duty during his matches. That way I would be the one to tend to him.”

“You looked out for him?”

“As much as I could,” Ulaz admitted looking off into the endless collection of stars. “I didn’t want to see any more harm come to him than was…”

“What are you guys doing up?” Pidge yawned from the doorway. She had a blanket around her shoulders that dragged on the floor as she walked closer.

“Nothing,” Keith shrugged. “Just talking.”

“About Shiro?” She rubbed her eyes.

“Yes,” Ulaz answered.

“Any good stories,” She sat down one of the couches.

“Stories?” Ulaz mused. “I’m not sure I can think of any that Shiro would be okay with me sharing.”

“Something uplifting to cheer Keith up. He’s been all down in the dumps since Shiro went missing.”

Ulaz thought about it for a second before saying, “Okay,” and started in on the story of Shiro causing a ruckus in the room where they were made to eat. The goal was to cause enough of a distraction for another creature to sneak extra food out.

“It was comical to see because Shiro was the smallest living thing on the ship by that point,” Ulaz explained. “But the guards also knew that it would take more than two of them to even be able to attempt to grab him.”

“He’s that strong?” Pidge tilted her head in wonder.

“And strategical. If he was making a fuss, there was no doubt he had planned something. They knew him well enough to be cautious around him. He wasn’t able to escape on his own, but he did make sure to take care of his fellow prisoners when he could.”

“You’re telling stories?” Lance happened to wander in. Was no one sleeping? “Without me. Yeesh, guys. That’s a little rude, dontcha think?” He plopped himself down next to Pidge.

“Ignore him,” Pidge rolled her eyes. “Keep going what happened next?”

It wasn’t long until Hunk joined them and Allura wandered in. Even Coran stayed for a bit before he went back to bed.

“Though there was one time he came back from the arena covered in goo and blood. Cuts all down his side and his legs were burnt, but he was rambling on excitedly as he told me he “slay a mutha fuckin dragon.”

They started to laugh and Ulaz looked confused.

“He never told me what a mutha fuckin dragon was.”

“A dragon is a mythical creature,” Pidge explained. “It doesn’t really exist. It’s supposed to be a huge lizard that sometimes flies and breathes fire.”

“Like a monster from a story.” Ulaz clarified.

“Exactly,” Hunk nodded. “Whatever it was must have looked like one.”

“How did he end up fighting something like that?” Lance asked.

“At a certain point, the audience became bored by his constant wins. There were rumors that the fights were becoming fixed since he had been champion so long. So, it was organized that he would go against something that he shouldn’t be able to beat. He almost lost. It swallowed him whole and he cut himself out before he got to the stomach.”

“Wow,” Hunk gushed.

“It was the only thing he ever bragged about. But he was also hyped up on adrenaline. He didn’t even notice he was injured. He just chatted me up the whole time I treated him.” Ulaz shook his head at the memory, but his lip quirked a little in a smile. “Some of his worst injuries, but one of his better days.”

“Did he talk about the other crew members?” Pidge asked. “From his ship.”

“Once,” Ulaz informed her. “I was able to inform him that they were on a mining planet. One of our less hostile ones. The food might be bad but the work is run by the original inhabitant. It was one of the planets with a more peaceful takeover, by Prince Lotor I believe. He got them to surrender and they were allowed a few liberties because of it. I was able to assure him that they were most likely fine, or better off than if they had gone to any other mine.”

Pidge nodded looking more than relieved.

“Other than that he didn’t mention many other people besides his little brother, who I now assume is Keith.”

“So what did you guys talk about?” Lance pushed.

“Most of our conversations were in the moment. It revolved around the ship and his treatment.”

“But you guys were friends back then right?” Lance asked. “Or at least he thought so?”

“He said that?” Ulaz ears perked up, but his voice remained monotone, for the most part, only changing enough to let them know he was saying it as a question.

“Well, kind of,” Lance looked to the side. “We picked up on it from some of the things he said.” It went without saying that they weren’t supposed to mention watching the tapes in front of Ulaz. It just further strengthened the point that they really shouldn’t be watching them, to begin with.

“I liked to think that we were,” Ulaz said. “But I could never be sure. I don’t think it was a truly trusting relationship until he was free.”

“Most likely,” Allura chimed in. “He would have to be a fool to trust his captor.”

Ulaz looked like he was going to say something but didn’t. His ears flattened but Keith didn’t know what that meant.

“You should all get some rest,” Ulaz said. “We’ve been up for some time now.”

“Do you miss him?” Keith asked. If anyone would understand him it would be Ulaz.

“His absence is oppressive,” Ulaz agreed. “But I’m sure you’ll find him sooner than you think.”

“If he’s even alive,” Hunk sighed.

“Don’t say that!” Keith snapped.

“If he was dead you would know,” Ulaz reasoned. “The Empire would have broadcasted it and turned him into an example.”

“What if they have him?” Lance asked.

“He has a point,” Allura agreed. “It’s been mentioned that they were trying to turn him into something that would be useful to the Empire. A weapon of sorts.”

“If they have him then he must be under a heavy sedative. Otherwise, we would have heard chatter about it by now.”

“Do you think he’s safe?” Keith asked.

“Even if he isn’t, he’s a fighter. He knows how to protect himself. He’ll be okay. He has to be.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more they watch the more they find out about Shiro. The more Keith starts to question how close they really were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is here!!!! There's a lot more to be discovered.  
> And check out some [Fanart for this fic](http://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com/post/167133762041)  
> If you enjoy my work, check out my [Tumblr](https://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com)

Eventually, someone had to clean Shiro’s room. It needed to be dusted at the very least. It was only a one person job, two if they wanted to get done quickly.

Pidge volunteered to help Keith out.

It wasn’t surprising that the air in the room was stale. What was surprising were the low orange lights around the edge of the room rather than the standard blue. At first, Keith thought that the settings might have been changed, but there were small lanterns around the edge of the room. On the shelf was a palm-sized rock with translucent rainbow coloring. Next to that was a crystal that sparkles. A tablet with the Blades of Marmora emblem on the back. His bed had a thick decorative blanket, and many plushy embroidered pillows.

There were small packs of non-perishable food lined on the shelves. A few wrappers were in the garbage. He had brushes and combs, a few other sets of clothes in the closet that were clearly of alien origins.

There were plushies on the bed that were in likeness to the black lion, and a few other space creatures. Next to the bed were some books. Keith couldn’t tell what dialect it was, and neither could Pidge. Only a few symbols looked familiar to them.

They got Allura, and she was able to tell them that it was a less formal form of Galran.

“Where did he get all this stuff,” Lance asked, looking around.

“I don’t remember him bringing anything in,” Hunk was poking around. He found a jeweled box and opened it. Music started to fill the room and a purple light billows out and sparked across the room. Inside was an assortment of jewelry.

“He was the only one to not go to the space mall,” Pidge was still looking around in awe. “So none of this makes sense.”

“What is this doing here?” Allura picked up the tablet. Her face scrunched when she saw the symbol on the back.

“Maybe the Blades gave him a way to communicate with them.” Hunk peeked over her shoulder to get a better look.

“Yes, but he never informed us of this.” Allura snapped. “It’s all a bit odd.”

“Kind of sucks that Ulaz just left. We would have been able to ask him.” Lance raised an eyebrow at the long fuzzy socks. They were thick for colder weather and very obviously well worn.

Keith frown taking it all in. It made his stomach turn and flip. He picked up a can of what looked like a soft drink as he tried to figure out how he’d missed all of this.

“We should dust and get out,” Keith decided. “We’ll ask him about it when he gets back.”

~.~.~.~.~

Keith went back to watching the videos. He was missing so much about Shiro and it was getting to the point that any tape that wasn’t about a mission he was finding out something new about him.

The most recent video they were watching, Shiro was talking about one of their more peaceful missions, mostly about the food and the people at the banquet.

“And then this one guy got up and…”

“Takashi I…” Ulaz entered the room. This recording must be from one of the times when Ulaz was aboard. “I’m sorry am I interrupting something?”

“Since when did Ulaz call Shiro Takashi?” Lance asked.

“I’m not doing anything important.” Shiro turned to face him. “It’s just this blog thing, we all do it.”

“Blog?” Ulaz came forwards, his squinting face filling the screen. They all laughed.

Shiro chuckled before explaining, “Sometimes we record our thoughts and feeling, like a verbal journal.” Shiro was all smiles as he looked at Ulaz’s confused face.

“I see,” Ulaz back away. “I didn’t know it was one of your interests.”

“It can be fun. And sometimes it’s just nice to have something to vent to that doesn’t talk back. You know?”

“I see. I’ll talk to you when you’re done.” Ulaz left the room. Shiro gave him one last wave before facing the camera again. Once the door closed he was all smiles again.

“He’s cute, right?” Shiro asked. “He’s really cute! And really sweet! I like him.” He admitted, unabashed and unashamed. Keith felt his blood run cold and his stomach knot. He’d never heard Shiro speak with such a longing in his voice. “I really like him. I just… it wouldn’t make sense to start something during this war.” He sighed looking at his hands before looking back at the screen eyes sparkling and honest. “But I really like him. And I think he likes me too.”

Keith was now spending a lot of time thinking back to the times he saw Shiro interacting with Ulaz. He doesn’t think that he’s seen Shiro flirt before. Maybe that’s why he didn’t recognize it when it happened. Or Shiro had gotten better at his poker face.

But that wasn’t the point. Any video where Ulaz was mentioned was always interesting, to say the least.

“I mentioned I get cold easily on the ship and he brought me back this from his last mission.” Shiro held up the blanket they found in his room. He wrapped it around his shoulder. “It’s so comfortable: it’s cloth on top and then the underside is fur. It’s so soft!”

“Look at this!” He gushed in another video holding up the rainbow rock. “And it’s malleable.” He started to pull it apart and the colors started to glitter and move. “Cool, right!”

Slowly and steadily Keith watched as Shiro collected the gifts that Ulaz gave him and now adorn his room. But it was all just kind gestures from Ulaz, and Shiro having a crush, nothing more.

“It’s easy to talk to him,” Shiro lazily spun in his chair. He looked tired and haggard. It must have been a sleepless night. “I think it’s because he knows what it’s like to be within the Empire. Seeing what they do is horrible, but being in the middle of it, it’s beyond nightmarish. Some of the things I had to do to survive were, well, things I can’t ever tell the others. But Ulaz knows, and he understands, and he doesn’t judge me. He just pulls me into his arms tries to get me to at least lay down even if I’m not going to sleep. He’s stayed up with me many nights just to make sure I’m okay. He’s a sweetheart.”

He looked back at the camera, “I’m always happy when he’s back on the ship even if it’s just for an hour. It makes things a little easier on me.”

Lance huffed, “He could have come to us if something was wrong. It’s not like we never offer.”

There was another recording after that one. It was short and Shiro was already in his paladin armor ready to go.

“Ulaz needs help with a mission and everyone else is too scared of the big bad Galra to team up with him. Guess I have to. It’s my duty as a leader.” He was grinning, all too happy with the way things were playing out. If Keith remembers that mission correctly then this is the one when…

“And we’re gonna have to spend the night on this planet in order to get things done. Just us. Oh well.”

“Oh, my,” Allura blushed at what that must imply.

“I doubt it was anything like that.” Keith objected.

As if to prove his point, the next video started with, “He kissed me!” Shiro was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling with a glee Keith had never seen before. “He kissed me!” He gushed.

“I’m just…I’m so happy!” He covered his face with his hands as he started to blush. “It was amazing, like something out of a dream. Okay, maybe not a dream there was a little miscommunication error, but after we got past that it was all good! But yeah, he kissed me.” He beamed.

“Why didn’t he tell us,” Keith felt his anger flare. He’d been holding it back this whole time but it was becoming uncontrollable. How could Shiro confide in this random person and not him? How could he start a relationship, and never tell him! It didn’t make any sense. He was so confused and angry and hurt.

It was like Shiro had forgotten about him and moved on, like everyone else.

“Hey, I for one did not want to know Shiro was sucking face with a purple cat man. And a grumpy one at that.” Lance crossed his arms.

Hunk shrugged, “He does look happy though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this before.”

They all agreed. Shiro looked like a lovesick teenager. The rest of his tapes started to sound like it to. Not that there weren’t any more normal ones. He still gave his two cents about missions and explained the team’s progress but Ulaz was getting mentioned as often as the others.

“I mentioned I used to wear body jewelry and he got me this.” He held the jewelry box up to the screen and opened it. As the lights and music played through the room he explained each piece of jewelry that was inside.

“I just feel like a sucky boyfriend because I’m hardly ever off the ship and I can’t afford to get him anything while he’s showering me with gifts. I try to be careful when I talk to him now because if I express the smallest need he gets me something. It’s not the worst thing, but I can’t give back in the same way.”

~.~.~.~.~

“…so he gave me this tablet so we can talk when he’s on missions. It’s a secure line so we can message and chat. I think it’s his way of saying he misses me.” He grinned and blushed.

“I haven’t told the others about us yet, and I probably should do that soon. I just, I like the fact that it’s only between the two of us right now. Makes it feel special? Not sure if that’s the word I’m looking for. But I don’t feel like answering everyone’s questions about what’s going on, the suggestive jokes, or the general pestering that comes from something new being on the ship. Right now it’s just us, and it simple and sweet.”

“Alright, I got a meeting with a King in the morning so I’m going to get some sleep.”

~.~.~.~.~

“I guess Ulaz has nightmares too,” Shiro yawned. He looked tired, like he had been up for some time. “And I feel bad that it makes me feel a little better to know it’s not just me. He wakes up on the attack, claws out and all. He shredded the pillows last time so he got some new ones.” He held up an embroidered pillow before hugging it to himself. “It’s pretty easy to ground him and remind him where he is. But he’s still on edge and I can’t get him back to sleep, so I stay up with him. He won’t talk about it so I’ve been telling him about Japanese folklore to get him back to sleep.”

“It’s a lot of work, but ya know what? I don’t mind. If I can help him in any way then it’s worth it.”

~.~.~.~.~

“…and by the end of everything I had to put all three of them on a timeout just to get them to calm down and talk about what happened. I understand Pidge being a bit unruly at times, but the other two are at least eighteen, in expecting some maturity out of them.”

“I swear it’s more like in a babysitter sometimes rather than a leader. They call me “Space Dad.” Which I’m not sure I really I live up to, but I’m not gonna ruin their fun.”

“And Ulaz should be on board the ship soon. I haven’t seen him in a while so I’m looking forward to that. But I’m also really anxious because I really like him and I really want to be intimate with him…”

“I’m not sure we should be watching this,” Pidge said nervously but made no move to turn it off.

“I’ve had like, no sexual appetite this whole time and now it’s back full force.” He groaned. “But there’s no time and then there are other issues… I’m not normally a lights off kind of guy,” Shiro started, not sure how to continue on. “But what’s going on underneath all this,” he made a vague hand motion at himself, “Is not pretty. It’s so much scarring and I have folds where folds shouldn’t be. I don’t mean weight gain kind of folds, I mean from where they cut me open and put me back together. It’s really bad.”

“Allura finally fixed the pool for us the other day and they were all like, “Let’s go swimming,” I had to turn them down. I can’t make myself do it. I’m always covered from head to toe at all hours. I would cover this stupid arm too but the edges snag on fabrics.” He sighed

“But Ulaz hasn’t brought it up, so I’m not going to bring it up.”

Lance was the first to speak once they screen went dark, “How does someone built like him have body issues? He’s like, like, well you guys know!”

“What? Do you have a crush on him or something?” Pidge smirked at him.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I kind of get it,” Hunk shrugged. “What Shiro said, not what Lance said.”

“All I’m saying is, ladies, love a sexy battle scar.”

“I think you’re missing the point,” Keith said.

“You’re missing the point! Shiro’s got it going on. Ulaz probably wouldn’t even care.”

“It’s a self-image thing,” Hunk explained.”It doesn’t matter what Ulaz thinks if Shiro doesn’t feel comfortable then that’s that.”

Lance shrugged and sighed, “Nevermind.”

~.~.~.~.~

Sometimes Keith would stand in the doorway of Shiro’s room and try to imagine what he must have done in there. Shiro was starting to feel like a stranger to him. He was starting to realize that there was a lot he didn’t know about him.

Rationally it made sense. He’d met Shiro when he was thirteen, at the time Shiro was only a mentor. They talked more about Keith and his problems as Shiro tried to help him with his anger and help him find an outlet for it.

Shiro the one who insisted that his quick temper wasn’t all he was. He focused more on Keith’s strengths. He taught him how to let his instincts guide him in a positive way. Even when Keith took more than a step back in his progress, Shiro was by his side encouraging him.

It was Shiro’s letter of recommendation that got him in the space program despite his previous record. He even put out extra money so Keith could have a single room on campus.

“So you have your own place where you can decompress.” Shiro had said when he helped him move in.

He’d been so lonely when he met Shiro. Once he realized that Shiro meant him no harm and only wanted to help, he started to open up. He told Shiro about himself and never realized that he didn’t know much about Shiro.

He knew his age, where he worked, and that was it. There had to be something at some point that was a bit personal! He just couldn’t remember it right now.

He sighed, looking at the soft glowing lights against Shiro’s collection of trinkets.

He thinks once, Shiro mentioned that there was some tension between him and his parents. It was a brief comment he made when he came over on Christmas the last year he was on Earth, and Keith asked why he wasn’t with his own family. But Shiro brushed it off and presented Keith with a mountain of gifts and a bag of takeout (since Shiro can’t cook).

It’s not the Keith didn’t care. He just never thought to ask. He never realized how much he didn’t know. How much he may never know.

For example, he didn’t know if Shiro liked men before this or just didn’t care that Ulaz was male. Every time Keith brought the subject of partners up Shiro always tried to keep the pronoun neutral. Keith always assumed it was because Shiro thought he was gay, but maybe it was had more to do with Shiro than him.

Maybe Shiro was more like him than he thought. Keith knew he was closed off and didn’t open up to just anyone. Now that he thinks about it, Shiro was the same, but with a cheery disposition. He knew how to talk without saying anything. You would have to pay attention to details in order to find out anything about him.

Keith just hadn’t been paying attention. The more he tried to rattle his brain for facts the clearer it became. But that couldn’t be true.

He knew that Shiro prefers the bus to driving. He knew Shiro preferred chicken tenders over nuggets, and he knew Shiro was good at hitting the high notes when he sang. He remembers that Shiro mentioned going through a phase where he used to paint his nails navy blue because it was his favorite color. He knew Shiro claimed to take a longer time than most astronauts to get used to gravity again and said that’s why he’s always dropping things when really he was just clumsy.

He knows Shiro, maybe not as well as he once thought, but he knows him.

~.~.~.~.~

“It’s this eyeliner that has sparkles in it,” Shiro held the liner up to the camera. “It looks so much nicer.” He was using a decorative mirror to watch himself as he put on the makeup. “See!”

“It does look better,” Allura agreed.

“I’m using this one for now on!” Shiro proclaimed, then sighed. “I’m going to tell others about me and Ulaz the next time he’s on the ship. I know Hunk, Lance, and Pidge might be a little, let’s say nosey for a while. Allura might be a little suspicious, but I think Ulaz has grown on her so it might only last for a quick second. I think Coran knows. Just, some of the things he says…he definitely knows. I’m only really worried about telling Keith.”

“He’s a lot more sensitive than people think. And I don’t want him to feel like he’s being replaced. I know he refers to me as a brother, but he’s more like a son. And with everything going on, I know he’s not going to take it too well. Sharing was never his strong suit and emotionally he still vulnerable since I haven’t been back that long, and saving the universe…it’s a lot. And there’s never a good time.”

“But I should tell them, sooner rather than later. Maybe they’ll be happy to get a new Space Dad,” Shiro laughed at his own terrible joke.

“New ‘Space Dad’?” Pidge winced as she went to the next video.

“Shiro has a different sense of humor,” Keith explained the best he could without telling them that Shiro can be a little lame.

“It’s kind of funny,” Allura tired to defend, “in a weird sort of way.”

“Like I get the joke,” Hunk added, “but I wouldn’t actually laugh at it.”

Lance nodded in agreement.

The next video started to play. The lights were down low, but the pink tint of exertion showed on his skin. Shiro was wearing his paladin robe. He ran his hand through his bangs as he pushed it out of his face. It flopped back over anyways.

“The things. That man. Can do. With his tongue. Should be illegal.” His voice was gruff as he slouched forwards, smirking at the screen.

Everyone commented at once.

“Oh, my…” Hunk gasped.

“Looks like he got over that body issue,” Lance rolled his eyes.

“I’m not sure we should be watching this,” Pidge said nervously.

Keith just sat there eyes wide. He missed whatever Shiro said next because of all the background noise. He was too shocked to say anything.

“I haven’t felt this way in a while,” Shiro reached off screen and grabbed what looked like a bag of some kind of chips. “I was going to get something to eat but couldn’t walk to the kitchen. Not in a sore kind of way, in an ‘orgasmed so hard my legs are shaky’ kind of way.” He opened one of the cans they found and took a sip.

“This is really good. It tastes like cream soda, but it has the same kind of nutrients as water.” He took another sip. “So good.”

“When did you get up?” Ulaz’s voice sounded from the background. He slowly came into view. It was dark enough that details couldn’t be made out, but you could still tell he was nude.

“Little while ago,” Shiro spun in his chair to face him. “I got a snack.”

“Are you okay?” Ulaz asked in concern.

“It’s not a nightmare that got me up if that’s what you’re asking.”

“And physically?”

“I’m great,” Shiro assured him. He only giggled as Ulaz kneeled in front of him. Ulaz was off screen again. “What are you looking for?” He teased.

“Who says I’m looking for anything?” Ulaz asked. Shiro’s knees were to his chest and he let out a noise that was a cross between a gleeful laugh and a giggle.

“You could have just asked if you were trying to get frisky.”

“Frisky?”

“I think you can use your context clues for that one.”

“Are you still recording?” Ulaz asked.

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” A deep rumble came from off screen. It took them a second to realize that Ulaz was purring.

Then a moan sounded out from Shiro. It was unabashed and unashamed, as his head lolled back, Ulaz’s name on his lips.

Everyone scrambled to turn the feed off.

“I told you we shouldn’t watch this one,” Pidge yelled.

“Shiro made a sex tape!” Lance was somewhere between disbelief and entertainment.

“Yeah but,” Hunk shifted. “If he made one then the others might be…”

“I was thinking the same.” Allura nodded. “I don’t think we should watch anymore. We’ve breached his privacy enough at this point. I think we’ve all heard from him what we needed to feel comforted if we don’t find him”

“We’re going to find him.”

“It’s been like what,” Hunk mused. “Almost a Deca-Phobe! If he’s with the Galra they’ve probably finally achieved whatever goal they had for him. The next time we run into him he might be a brainwashed gladiator. And if he did manage to overcome it he…he might be…well he might be dead.”

An eerie silence filled the room.

“I know,” Keith finally said. “But I can’t stop looking for him. He wouldn’t stop looking for us. Even if we stop the Galra I’m not going home until I find him.”

“Princess, Paladins,” Coran’s voice came over the intercom, “Ulaz is sending a transmission. He wants to come aboard.”

“Let him on,” Allura called. “We should go greet him.” She said to the other. All of them gave each other a look. This was going to be awkward.

~.~.~.~.~

“I’m only here to update some of the information I gave you in the past,” Ulaz informed them. “There’s been some changes in the movements of rebellion. A few more have risen up, but a few crucial allies have fallen as well.”

“How crucial?” Allura asked worriedly. They had decided on discussing everything over the evening meal.

“We’ll be able to recover if we can take it back soon. They’re already regrouping to send relief as soon as possible before more of the Empire’s reinforcements arrive and make it impossible. However, Leader doesn’t think it’s a problem. From the Empire’s standpoint, the planet they took doesn’t offer much, but it’s a strategic stronghold for us. It might not be as heavily guarded as we first thought. If we’re lucky we’ll be able to win it back fairly easily and without the assist of Voltron.”

“Are you sure?” Allura asked.

“The Leader of the Blades is prepared to call you if needed but he’s very certain we can handle this on our own. We don’t want to interrupt your search if we don’t have to, but we still needed to inform you.”

“Thanks for letting us know.”

“Are you any closer to finding him?” Ulaz asked.

“No,” Keith sighed.

“Yes,” Pidge said at the same time. “We’ve narrowed down the quadrant thanks to the equipment you gave us.”

“That’s good,” He was clearly trying to keep his tone in check, but was hopeful that there was more good news.

“Hopefully we’ll close in on a location,” Pidge continued. “But at least we know he’s out there.”

Ulaz nodded, but his ears were lower than they normally were.

“You miss him that much?” Lance asked with a knowing smirk.

Ulaz blinked clearly, taking the time to measure his response. “Don’t you?”

~.~.~.~.~

Black Lion connected with Keith one day. It was during a training exercise that she let him know that she could sense Shiro and that he was in trouble.

Keith felt his heart skip a beat and he rushed to tell the others. Black Lion wanted to guide them to him, but they had to be quick. Shiro was running out of time.

Pulling Shiro from the void of space was more than a relief. He was thinner than the last time they saw him, and his lips were starting to turn blue from the lack of oxygen. But he was alive.

They took him straight to the med bay. Keith stayed with him the whole time even though he was unconscious. Keith was just happy to have him here and breathing. He didn’t try to hold back his smile as he held Shiro’s left hand.

“Welcome back,” Keith greeted him when Shiro started to open his eyes.

“Good to be back,” Shiro slurred. He started to try to sit up.

“Lay back down,” Keith insisted. “You need to rest.”

“I’ve had worse,” Shiro groaned as he sat up.

“Your leg was pretty badly burnt. And it was infected too.” Keith didn’t ask the question that was on his tongue.

“I tried to solder it closed,” Shiro admitted. “Couldn’t take the pain and I missed some parts of it and it got infected.” He said it like it was nothing.

“Now that you’re awake we can get you to a healing pod.”

“I rather not. Just broke out of a pod. I’m not trying to climb back into one.”

“What? What happened to…”

“I’m not sure if I’m honest.” Shiro shrugged, again acting like his amnesia didn’t bother him. Like he wasn’t shaken up by everything that happened.

“Shiro…”

“I’m fine,” Shiro assured him.

“You were missing for a long time. You’re injured and almost died. That’s, that’s a lot to take in. You, you’re not even acting like you’re upset by any of this!” Keith was trying not to yell, but he couldn’t help it.

“It upsetting, but…”

“There no buts! You’re always talking about how we need to share the burden with each other. You can’t sit here and tell me you’re not even a little upset by everything that happened! Your hand is shaking!”

Shiro sighed pulling his trembling hand away from Keith’s grip.

“I’m not going to be okay for a while. I know that, but there’s no point dwelling in the past. Being back on the ship is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. So considering everything, I’m more than okay right now.”

Keith didn’t know if he should cry or punch him. Leave it to Shiro to twist his own words to fit the situation.

“I missed you,” Keith gave in.

“I missed you too. I’m glad to see you’re okay. How was being the Black Paladin?”

“It sucks. No offense to Black Lion but she’s so slow compared to Red. And having to make the final decisions when it comes to planning missions. So much rides on what I say. It’s a lot of pressure.”

“I’m sure you did just fine.” Shiro gave him a soft smile as he started to ease himself to his feet. His legs were still unsteady.

“Do you need help getting to your room?”

“I’ll be fine,” Shiro waved it off. Keith came up to help support him anyways. He slung Shiro’s right arm over his shoulder and put his own arm around Shiro’s waist to keep him upright. He could feel his ribs.

The walk to Shiro’s room was slow and long. Each of Shiro’s breaths were labored, and it was clear that every move caused him pain. They had to stop once for Shiro to rest against the wall. When he was ready to start again he willingly let Keith help, which is how Keith knew it was bad.

Shiro was more than relieved to get to his room. He rests his hand on the control pad and the door slid back. He smiled as he stumbled into his room, easing into his own bed at long last. Keith helped him get his legs up, fluffed his pillows, and pulled his blanket up and around him.

Shiro relaxed into it watching the lights play on his walls.

“Thank you.”

“You should get some rest,” Keith said. “Allura has the others doing chores so you can have some space. They’ll come see you before dinner. Hunks got a lot better at cooking, and he says he’s making something special for your return.”

Shiro only smiled. Exhaustion was setting in.

“And Ulaz has been lurking around since we found you.”

“Ulaz is on board?” Shiro blinked, trying not to look eager.

“He was on board since last night. He’s been trying to give us space to help you, but I think he really wants to see you.”

“Send him in,” Shiro said. His eyes sparkled and he shifted a little. Keith tried to keep a straight face, but now that he knew what to look for it was funny seeing Shiro love struck.

“I’ll go get him.” Keith started to leave. He took the time to say one last time. “I’m glad your back.”

“It’s good to be back.”

Of course, Ulaz was on his way down the hall when Keith was coming out.

“Shiro wants to see you,” Keith informed him. Ulaz only nodded before proceeding to the door. His hand paused over the control panel.

“How bad is it?” Ulaz asked.

“He’s a bit scuffed up, and he’s lost some weight, but it doesn’t look too bad,” Keith assured him. “He’s in a little pain, but, I think it would do him some good to see you.”

Ulaz gave him a cursory glance before he nodded and opened the door.

“You grew your mane out,” Ulaz smirked as he walked through the threshold.

“I keep telling you it’s not a mane,” Shiro chuckled. Then the door swished shut.

Keith shook his head but he was smiling. He was just glad to have Shiro back, and know he was somewhere on the ship. Nothing else mattered. He could interrogate Shiro about his purple boyfriend later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you guys like this fic! I got the idea the moment I knew that the vblogs were a thing! Anyways, let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys!  
> And check out some [Fanart for this fic](http://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com/post/167133762041)  
> If you enjoy my work, check out my [Tumblr](https://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is kind of long so I'm cutting it into two chapters. I'll have it up soon.  
> Drop a comment if you liked this part. I love hearing from you guys ^^  
> And check out some [Fanart for this fic](http://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com/post/167133762041)  
> If you enjoy my work, check out my [Tumblr](https://ryan-masamune-of-oshu.tumblr.com)


End file.
